She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
