What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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