I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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