onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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