im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
