YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
