the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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