so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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