I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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