you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize