It's just like the Real World with babies
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
