I heard we made out
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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