No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
