Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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