I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
