No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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