Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
