Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
