all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
