but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
