Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
