Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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