Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
