i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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