Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
