hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
