well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
