Kiss
Puke
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Barsexuality is the new black.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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