No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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