wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
