I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize