Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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