you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
