well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
