Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you would pick up someone in the library
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
