I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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