My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
