Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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