I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
