You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
