Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
