Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
