Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think people are normalizing furries
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
