Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
