When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
