Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize