Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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