my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
