sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
