a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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