The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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