woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
