I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
