apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
