I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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