I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
