Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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