I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
