That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize