thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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